daily bliss: blue

Sometimes it comes out of nowhere

Sometimes it rises unbidden

I close my eyes so tears won't spill but they trickle out anyway

Silence overwhelms

I long to hear my mom's voice, my best friend's laugh, G's jokes to make me smile instead of my own tangle of thoughts

I take refuge in rituals:

cleaning the kitchen, automatic cycle of unloading, storing, loading, washing, drying

showering with lavender dr. bronner's soap and hot, hot water

brewing a cup of margaret's hope tea in a too big mug

folding back the sheets and turning on classical music on npr

mentally plotting my monday to-do list

writing a few too honest words here and there

reading something, anything

curling into the center of my bed, amidst too many pillows...sleep.